My dear Theo,
It’s again high time that you heard something from me. Thank God you’re recovering, I long so much for Christmas – perhaps that time will come before we know it, even though it seems a long way off.
Theo, your brother spoke for the first time in God’s house last Sunday,1 in the place where it is written ‘I will give peace in this place’.2 I’m copying out what it was herewith. May it be the first of many.
It was a clear autumn day and a lovely walk from here to Richmond along the Thames, which reflected the large chestnut trees with their load of yellow leaves and the clear blue sky, and between the tree-tops the part of Richmond that lies on the hill, the houses with their red roofs and windows without curtains and green gardens, and the grey tower above it all, and below, the large grey bridge with tall poplars on either side, with people crossing it who looked like small black figures. When I stood in the pulpit I felt like someone emerging from a dark, underground vault into the friendly daylight, and it’s a wonderful thought that from now on, wherever I go, I’ll be preaching the gospel – to do that well one must have the gospel in his heart, may He bring this about. God says, Let there be light: and there is light.3 He speaks, and it is done. He commands, and it stands, and it stands fast.4 Faithful is He that calleth us, who also will do it.5 You know enough of the world, Theo, to see how a poor preacher stands rather alone as far as the world is concerned – but He can awaken in us, more and more, awareness and  1v:2 firmness of faith. ‘And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me’.6

I know in Whom my faith is founded,
Though day and night change constantly,
I know the rock on which I’m grounded,
My Saviour waits, unfailingly.
When once life’s evening overcomes me,
Worn down by ills and strife always,
For every day Thou hast allowed me,
I’ll bring Thee higher, purer praise.7

Praise, Christian, there on your left hand,
And on your right, is God –
When I have no more strength to stand,
When anguished, there is God –
When loving hand of faithful friend
Helps not, there is God –
In death and agony at life’s end,
Yes, everywhere is God.8

How I long for Christmas and to see all of you, old boy, it seems to me that I’ve grown years older in these few months.

The panting hart, the hunt escapèd,
Cries no harder for the pleasure
Of fresh flowing streams of water
Than my soul doth long for God.
Yea, my soul thirsts for the Lord,
God of life, oh when shall I
Approach Thy sight, and drawing nigh,
Give Thee praise in Thine own house.9

Why art thou cast down, my soul,
Disquieted in me, oh why?
Foster again the faith of old,
Rejoice in praising Him most high.
Oft hath he taken your distress
And turned it into happiness.
Hope in Him, eyes heavenward raised,
For to my God I still give praise.10

My boy, if illness and difficulties come to meet us, let us thank Him for bringing us into these hours – and let us not forget meekness, for it is written: On this man will I look, even on him who is poor and sorrowful and who trembleth at My word.11 Yesterday evening I went to Richmond again,12 and took a walk there on a large common surrounded by trees, and houses around it, above which the tower rose. Dew lay on the grass and it was growing dark; on one side the sky was still full of the glow of the sun that had just set there, on the other side the moon was rising. An old lady (dressed in black) with lovely grey hair was walking beneath the trees. In the middle of the common, some boys had lit a big fire, which one saw flickering in the distance; I thought of this: when once life’s evening overcomes me, worn down by ills and strife always, for every day Thou hast allowed me, I’ll bring Thee higher, purer praise.13 Adieu, a handshake in thought from

Your most loving brother,

Regards to Mr and Mrs Tersteeg, Haanebeeks, Van Stockums and everyone at the Rooses’ and Van Iterson and if you should see someone or other whom I know.

Your brother was indeed moved when he stood at the foot of the pulpit and bowed his head and prayed ‘Abba, Father, let Thy name be our beginning’.

On Thursday week I hope to speak at Mr Jones’s church:14 And the Lord added daily to the church such as should be saved,15 on John and Theagenes.16  2r:3

Psalm 119:19 I am a stranger in the earth, hide not Thy commandments from me.

It is an old faith and it is a good faith that our life is a pilgrims progress – that we are strangers in the earth, but that though this be so, yet we are not alone for our Father is with us. We are pilgrims, our life is a long walk, a journey from earth to heaven.17
The beginning of this life is this. There is one who remembereth no more Her sorrow and Her anguish for joy that a man is born into the world. She is our Mother. The end of our pilgrimage is the entering in Our Fathers house where are many mansions, where He has gone before us to prepare a place for us.18 The end of this life is what we call death – it is an hour in which words are spoken, things are seen and felt that are kept in the secret chambers of the hearts of those who stand by, it is so that all of us have such things in our hearts or forebodings of such things. There is sorrow in the hour when a man is born into the world, but also joy19 – deep and unspeakable – thankfulness so great that it reacheth the highest Heavens. Yes the Angels of God, they smile, they hope and they rejoice when a man is born in the world. There is sorrow in the hour of death – but there too is joy unspeakable when it is the hour of death of one who has fought a good fight.20 There is One who has said, I am the resurrection and the life, if any man believeth in Me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.21 There was an Apostle who heard a voice from heaven, saying: Blessed are they that die in the Lord for they rest from their labour and their works follow them.22 There is joy when a man is born in the world but there is greater joy when a Spirit has passed through great tribulation, when an Angel is born in Heaven. Sorrow is better than joy23 – and even in mirth the heart is sad24 – and it is better to go to the house of mourning than to the house of feasts,25 for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better.26 Our nature is sorrowful but for those who have learnt and are learning to look at Jesus Christ there is always reason to rejoice. It is a good word, that of St Paul: As being sorrowful yet always rejoicing.27 For those who believe in Jesus Christ there is no death and no sorrow that is not mixed with hope – no despair – there is only a constantly being born again,28 a constantly going from darkness into light.29 They do not mourn as those who have no hope – Christian Faith makes life to evergreen life.

We are pilgrims in the earth and strangers30 – we come from afar and we are going far. The journey of our life goes from the loving breast of our Mother on earth to the arms of our Father in heaven. Everything on earth changes – we have no abiding city here31 – it is the experience of everybody: That it is Gods will that we should part with what we dearest have on earth – we ourselves, we change in many respects, we are not what we once were, we shall not remain what we are now. From infancy we grow up to boys and girls – young men and young women – and if God spares us and helps us – to husbands and wives, Fathers and Mothers in our turn, and then, slowly but surely the face that once had the ‘early dew of morning’32 gets its wrinkles, the eyes that once beamed with youth and gladness speak of a sincere deep and earnest sadness – though they may keep the fire of Faith, Hope and Charity33 – though they may beam with Gods spirit. The hair turns grey or we loosea it – ah – indeed we only pass through the earth, we only pass through life – we are strangers and pilgrims in the earth.34 The world passes and all its glory.35 Let our later days be nearer to Thee and therefore better than these.  2v:4
Yet we may not live on just anyhow – no, we have a strife to strive and a fight to fight.36 What is it we must do: We must love God with all our strength, with all our might, with all our heart, with all our soul, we must love our neighbour as ourselves.37 These two commandments we must keep and if we follow after these, if we are devoted to this, we are not alone for our Father in Heaven is with us, helps us and guides us, gives us strength day by day, hour by hour. and so we can do all things through Christ who gives us might.38 We are strangers in the earth, hide not Thy commandments from us. Open Thou our eyes, that we may behold wondrous things out of Thy law.39 Teach us to do Thy will40 and influence our hearts that the love of Christ may constrain us41 and that we may be brought to do what we must do to be saved.

On the road from earth to Heaven
Do Thou guide us with Thine eye.42

We are weak but Thou art mighty
Hold us with Thy powerful hand.43

Our life, we might compare it to a journey, we go from the place where we were born to a far off haven. Our earlier life might be compared to sailing on a river, but very soon the waves become higher, the wind more violent, we are at sea almost before we are aware of it – and the prayer from the heart ariseth to God: Protect me o God, for my bark is so small and Thy sea is so great.44 The heart of man is very much like the sea, it has its storms, it has its tides and in its depths it has its pearls too. The heart that seeks for God and for a Godly life has more storms than any other. Let us see how the Psalmist describes a storm at sea, He must have felt the storm in his heart to describe it so. We read in the 107th Psalm, They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters, these see the works of the Lord and His wonders in the deep. For He commandeth and raiseth up a stormy wind which lifteth up the waves thereof. They mount up to Heaven, they go down again to the depth, their soul melteth in them because of their trouble. Then they cry unto the Lord in their trouble and He bringeth them out of their distresses, He bringeth them unto their desired haven.45
Do we not feel this sometimes on the sea of our lives. Does not everyone of you feel with me the storms of life or their forebodings or their recollections?
And now let us read a description of another storm at sea in the New Testament, as we find it in the VIth Chapter of the Gospel according to St John in the 17th to the 21st verse. And the disciples entered into a ship and went over the sea toward Capernaum. And the sea arose by reason of a great wind that blew. So when they had rowed about five and twenty or thirty furlongs, they see Jesus walking on the sea and drawing nigh unto the ship and they were afraid. Then they willingly received Him into the ship and immediately the ship was at the land whither they went.46 You who have experienced the great storms of life, you over whom all the waves and all the billows of the Lord have gone – have you not heard, when your heart failed for fear, the beloved well known voice – with something in its tone that reminded you of the voices that charmed your childhood – the voice of Him whose name is Saviour and Prince of peace,47 saying as it were to you personally – mind to you personally ‘It is I, be not afraid’.48 Fear not.49 Let not your heart be troubled.50 And we whose lives have been calm up to now, calm in comparison of what others have felt – let us not fear the storms of life, amidst the high waves of the sea and under the grey clouds of the sky we shall see Him approaching for Whom we have so often longed and watched, Him we need so – and we shall  2v:5 hear His voice, It is I, be not afraid. And if after an hour or season of anguish or distress51 or great difficulty or pain or sorrow we hear Him ask us ‘Dost Thou love me’ then let us say, Lord Thou knowest all things, Thou knowest that I love Thee.52 And let us keep that heart full of the love of Christ and may from thence issue a life which the love of Christ constraineth.53 Lord Thou knowest all things, Thou knowest that I love Thee, when we look back on our past we feel sometimes as if we did love Thee, for whatsoever we have loved, we loved in Thy name. Have we not often felt as a widow and an orphan – in joy and prosperity as well, and more even than under grief – because of the thought of Thee.
Truly our soul waiteth for Thee more than they that watch for the morning54 – our eyes are up unto Thee, o Thou who dwellest in Heavens.55 In our days too there can be such a thing as seeking the Lord.

What is it we ask of God – is it a great thing? Yes it is a great thing, peace for the ground of our heart, rest for our soul – give us that one thing and then we want not much more, then we can do without many things, then can we suffer great things for Thy names sake.56 We want to know that we are Thine and that Thou art ours, we want to be thine – to be Christians. We want a Father, a Fathers love and a Fathers approval. May the experience of life make our eye single57 and fix it on Thee. May we grow better as we go on in life.

We have spoken of the storms on the journey of life, but now let us speak of the calms and joys of Christian life. And yet, my dear friends, let us rather cling to the seasons of difficulty and work and sorrow, even for the calms are treacherous often.
The heart has its storms, has its seasons of drooping58 but also its calms and even its times of exaltation. There is a time of sighing and of praying but there is also a time of answer to prayer. Weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning.59

The heart that is fainting
May grow full to o’erflowing
And they that behold it
Shall wonder and know not
That God at its fountains
Far off has been raining.60

My peace I leave with you61 – we saw how there is peace even in the storm. Thanks be to God who has given us to be born and to live in a Christian country. Has any of us forgotten the golden hours of our early days at home, and since we left that home – for many of us have had to leave that home and to earn their living and to make their way in the world. Has He not brought us thus far, have we lacked anything.62 We believe Lord, help Thou our unbelief.63 I still feel the rapture, the thrill of joy I felt when for the first time I cast a deep look in the lives of my Parents, when I felt by instinct how much they were Christians. And I still feel that feeling of eternal youth and enthusiasm wherewith I went to God, saying ‘I will be a Christian too’.  2r:6
Are we what we dreamt we should be? No – but still – the sorrows of life, the multitude of things of daily life and of daily duties, so much more numerous than we expected – the tossing to and fro in the world, they have covered it over – but it is not dead, it sleepeth.64 The old eternal faith and love of Christ, it may sleep in us but it is not dead and God can revive it in us. But though to be born again to eternal life,65 to the life of Faith, Hope and Charity66 – and to an evergreen life – to the life of a Christian and of a Christian workman67 be a gift of God, a work of God – and of God alone – yet let us put the hand to the plough68 on the field of our heart, let us cast out our net once more69 – let us try once more – God knows the intention of the spirit, God knows us better than we know ourselves for He made us and not we ourselves.70 He knows of what things we have need,71 He knows what is good for us. May He give His blessing on the seed of His word72 that has been sown in our hearts.
God helping us, we shall get through life. With every temptation He will give a way to escape.73
Father we pray Thee not that Thou shouldest take us out of the world, but we pray Thee to keep us from evil.74 Give us neither poverty nor riches, feed us with bread convenient for us.75 And let Thy songs be our delight in the houses of our pilgrimage. God of our Fathers be our God: may their people be our people, their Faith our faith.76 We are strangers in the earth, hide not Thy commandments from us but may the love of Christ constrain us.77 Entreat us not to leave Thee or to refrain from following after Thee. Thy people shall be our people, Thou shalt be our God.78

Our life is a pilgrims progress. I once saw a very beautiful picture,79 it was a landscape at evening. In the distance on the right hand side a row of hills appearing blue in the evening mist. Above those hills the splendour of the sunset, the grey clouds with their linings of silver and gold and purple. The landscape is a plain or heath covered with grass and heather, here and there the white stem of a birch tree and its yellow leaves, for it was in Autumn. Through the landscape a road leads to a high mountain far far away, on the top of that mountain a city whereon the setting sun casts a glory. On the road walks a pilgrim, staff in hand. He has been walking for a good long while already and he is very tired. And now he meets a woman, a figure in black that makes one think of St Pauls word ‘As being sorrowful yet always rejoicing’.80 That Angel of God has been placed there to encourage the pilgrims and to answer their questions:

And the pilgrim asks her:   Does the road go uphill then all the way?
and the answer is   “Yes to the very end”─
and he asks again:   And will the journey take all day long?
and the answer is:   “From morn till night my friend”.81

And the pilgrim goes on sorrowful yet always rejoicing82 – sorrowful because it is so far off and the road so long. Hopeful as he looks up to the eternal city far away, resplendent in the evening glow, and he thinks of two old sayings he has heard long ago – the one is:

‘There must much strife be striven
There must much suffering be suffered
There must much prayer be prayed
And then the end will be peace.’83

and the other:

The water comes up to the lips
But higher comes it not.84

And he says, I shall be more and more tired but also nearer and nearer to Thee.85 Has not man a strife on earth? But there is a consolation from God in this life. An angel of God, comforting men – that is the Angel of Charity. Let us not forget Her. And when everyone of us goes back to daily things and daily duties, let us not forget – that things are not what they seem, that God by the things of daily life teacheth us higher things, that our life is a pilgrims progress and that we are strangers in the earth – but that we have a God and Father who preserveth strangers,86 and that we are all bretheren.87

And now the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, our Father, and the fellowship of the Holy Ghost, be with us for evermore.

(Reading Scripture Psalm XCI)

Tossed with rough winds and faint with fear,
Above the tempest soft and clear
What still small accents greet mine ear
‘’t Is I, be not afraid.’

’t Is I, who washed thy spirit white;
’t Is I, who gave thy blind eyes sight,
’t Is I, thy Lord, thy life, thy light,
’t Is I, be not afraid.

These raging winds, this surging sea
Have spent their deadly force on me
They bear no breath of wrath to Thee
’t Is I, be not afraid.

This bitter cup, I drank it first
To thee it is no draught accurst
The hand that gives it thee is pierced
‘’t Is I, be not afraid’.

When on the other side thy feet,
Shall rest, mid thousand welcomes sweet;
One well known voice thy heart shall greet –
’t Is I, be not afraid.

Mine eyes are watching by thy bed
Mine arms are underneath thy head
My blessing is around Thee shed
‘’t Is I, be not afraid’.89

Again, a handshake in thought – yesterday evening I was at Turnham Green in place of Mr Jones, who wasn’t well. I walked over there with the oldest boy, 17 years old, but he’s as big as I am and has a beard. He’ll go into business later, his father has a large factory; he has a good, honest, feeling heart and a great need of religion, it is his hope and desire to do good among the workers later on in life, I recommended ‘Felix Holt’ by Eliot90 to him. It was lovely in the park91 with the old elm trees in the moonlight and the dew on the grass. It was so good for me to speak in the little church, it is a little wooden church.92 Goodbye, Theo. Goodbye, old boy, I hope I’ve written it so that you’ll be able to read it. Remain steadfast and do get well soon.


Br. 1990: 095 | CL: 79
From: Vincent van Gogh
To: Theo van Gogh
Date: Isleworth, Friday, 3 November 1876

1. The sermon was delivered at the Wesleyan Methodist Church in Richmond on Sunday, 29 October 1876. The church was located on the corner of Kew Road and Evelyn Road. See David Bruxner, ‘Van Gogh’s sermon’, Country Life, 11 November 1976, pp. 1426-1428.
8. Hymn 7:4. Van Gogh varies the text in l. 54 by writing ‘helpen’ (help) instead of ‘redden’ (save).
9. Rhy. ps. 42:1. Cf. Pabst 1988, p. 62.
10. Rhy. ps. 42:7. Cf. Pabst 1988, p. 62.
12. Van Gogh must have gone to both Richmond and Turnham Green on the same evening (cf. ll. 354-355).
14. This talk was to take place on Thursday, 16 November. During the next Turnham Green teachers’ meeting, held on Sunday, 19 November, Van Gogh was officially accepted as a co-worker at Turnham Green. See Taylor 1964, p. 419.
17. An allusion to The pilgrim’s progress (1678) by John Bunyan. The complete title reads: The pilgrim’s progress from this world to that which is to come. In his sermon, Van Gogh referred to this image a number of times. Cf. also his appreciation for the book, as expressed in letter 99. The pilgrim’s progress was very popular among English Protestants. It recounts the journey of the protagonist, Christian, whose goal is to reach the city of Zion. On the advice of Evangelist, he embarks on a journey that takes him to a series of allegorical places – the House Beautiful, the Valley of the Shadow of Death, Doubting Castle and so on – on his way to the sought-after Celestial City. Each character and place in the dream is given an appropriate name: thus Christian meets the goodly Hopeful and Faithful, the cheating Mr Legality and the evil Giant Despair. The second part is the story of Christiana, Christian’s wife, who is moved to undertake a similar pilgrimage.
22. The apostle John in Rev. 14:13.
23. Cf. Eccl. 7:3. Van Gogh varies the text in l. 120 by writing ‘joy’ instead of ‘laughter’.
27. 2 Cor. 6:10. Vincent quotes this passage incorrectly by writing ‘always’ instead of ‘alway’.
32. Excerpt from the second verse of ‘Tell me the old, old story’ by Arabella Catherine Hankey; see letter 82, n.1.
33. 1 Cor. 13:13. Cf. Pabst 1988, p. 63.
a. Read: ‘lose’.
35. 1 John 2:17. Van Gogh changed ‘lust’ to ‘glory’, just as he did in the Dutch by changing ‘begeerlijkheid’ to ‘heerlijkheid’; cf. letter 90.
36. Cf. the first verse of hymn 291 by Henry K. White; see letter 54, n. 19
42. Taken from the hymn ‘Precious promise God has given’ by Nathaniel Niles: ‘All the way from earth to Heaven / I will guide thee with Mine eye’. See, for instance, Salvation Army songs, by the authority of the General. London 1930, p. 549, no. 747.
43. Taken from the first verse of hymn 196 by Peter Willkims or Peter Williams: ‘Guide me, O Thou great Redeemer, / Pilgrim through this barren land; / I am weak, but Thou art mighty; / Hold me with Thy powerful hand: / Bread of heaven, / Feed me now and evermore’. See, for example, Salvation Army songs, by the authority of the General. London 1930, p. 552, no. 771.
46. John 6:17-19 and 21. Van Gogh omitted ‘It is I, be not afraid’ here but quoted it a bit further on (see l. 196).
49. Biblical.
58. Cf. the phrase quoted earlier in letter 92: ‘Sometimes hearts that are drooping (fainting)’, cf. letter 92, n. 1.
60. For this quotation from Longfellow, see letter 92, n. 1.
65. Biblical.
67. Biblical. For the concept of the ‘Christian Workman’, which is derived from the text De christen-werkman als zendeling by Ottho Gerhard Heldring, see letter 109, n. 15.
79. Van Gogh gave the same description of this work by G.H. Boughton in letter 89.
80. 2 Cor. 6:10. Vincent writes ‘always’ instead of ‘alway’.
81. Adaptation of a verse from the poem ‘Up-hill’ by Christina Georgina Rossetti; see letter 54, n. 1.
82. 2 Cor. 6:10. Vincent writes ‘always’ instead of ‘alway’.
83. Translation of a verse from Stichtelijcke rijmen by D.R. Camphuysen, which Van Gogh quoted earlier; see letter 95, n. 31.
84. Cf. the Dutch saying ‘het water komt hem tot de lippen’ (the water comes up to his lips), which is used to describe someone in great distress.
89. The poem ‘It is I; be not afraid’ by Elizabeth Rundle Charles published in The three wakings. With hymns and songs. New York 1865. (Reprinted in The women of the Gospels. The three wakings and other verses. New York 1867.) Van Gogh appears to have known the version in the edition London, Edinburgh and New York 1868, pp. 213-214. He reverses the order of the fifth and sixth couplets; the final couplet is missing: ‘Clothed with all might and majesty / Gently He’ll lay His hand on thee, / Saying, “Beloved, lov’st thou Me? / ’Twas not in vain I died for thee; / ’Tis I; be not afraid.”’ The verse is based on Matt. 14:27.
91. Syon Park in Isleworth.
92. The little church at Turnham Green was ‘not so much a wooden building as an iron one’; see Taylor 1964, p. 420 and exhib. cat. Nottingham 1974, p. 43. Cf. letter 93, n. 19.